Me: “Is it [redacted] do you have feelings for me?
Oracle: [long drag on herbal cigarette] “What you really want to know is if the superficial face you’re showing this person is enough to get the outward validation you crave, or if you’re going to have to take a risk and let them see the real you, which you are already convinced that he will scare him.
Oracle: “So you do anything to manage your mental health, or not? »
In retrospect, I probably should have waited until my last wave of depression had completely subsided before throwing cards on relationship issues. But my pre-ordered copy of Laura Tempest Zakroff’s new Anatomy of a Witch Oracle got to the middle of it, and I was battling random, probably unhealthy infatuations, so I figured the game might offer an objective second opinion.
How the oracle already seems to know me better than I know myself is beyond me, but I’m not going to complain. (At least not where he can hear me.)
The spread above was a read on a spell I was thinking of casting. I’m recently (and amicably – we’re still friends) single, and while I have no desire to go back into the dating pool, I’ve found myself crushing on people, which honestly feels like a trap: It’s like “Oh, if only this guy loved me as much as i love him, so i wouldn’t be so depressed. Except he doesn’t like me as much as i love her, so now i’m same After depressed.”
Better, I thought, to dodge Anteros’ arrows all together, at least until my dopamine levels are back on track. So I had this idea that I would bind myself and, like, lock my heart away until further notice. I even bought a chain bracelet at work which came with a little padlock – once in place I would never feel the agony of love again.
In other words, I was dramatic. But I had the foresight to draw a few cards before I started manifesting generational curses, so that was wise of me.
The guide that comes with the deck includes very good three and six card spreads, but for this read I’ve gone with the four card spread that I know best. In the current position, I drew Hands, which could literally be interpreted as a practical approach to the matter: since I was preparing for spells, it made sense. Crossing Hands was Equinox – as an influence on the present, it suggested striving for balance, which also made sense, as I was ultimately just trying to get my head back in the water.
Poppet in the past has baffled me, as he called me out for trying to control everything. And Banish’s first keyword is “unbind”, which was an encouragement to not bind myself and instead focus my magic on letting go.
So that’s what I ended up doing. And the next day, in an impressive show of patience, I said to myself, “IT’S BEEN ALMOST TWENTY-FOUR HOURS AND I DON’T FEEL LESS OBSESSY.” Which was also a little dramatic but really just my alcoholic brain throwing a tantrum.
The main reason I drank was to change how I felt, and even now, after ten years of sobriety, I can still get nervous and impulsive when trying to deal with uncomfortable emotions. Luckily I have the tools to handle this, but it’s still pretty disgusting when I’m in it, even though I’m fully aware that it’s a temporary situation and will pass sooner rather than later.
I didn’t put any real deadline on the spell activating, other than visualizing romantic feelings draining away and drifting away from me. And while I had no reason to believe the spell wouldn’t work, I wanted to get an idea of when I would begin to benefit from its effects and what obstacles, if any, I might encounter in the meantime. So I dealt four more cards and got down to interpreting.
Here is that broadcast:
In the present, Witch Braid crossed with Touch: another sign that I’m a bit of a control freak, but also a sharp reminder that there are people whose lives are intertwined with mine, with whom I have to keep the contact, no matter how I may feel for them. Basically, I can’t shut someone out of my life just because being around them makes me feel restless. In the past, Create – I designed and cast the spell, which leads to Birth in the future. The spell will materialize. Impressive.
Childbirth can be painful and messy, but it’s also a process, and after years of 12-step recovery, I’m trained to trust the process. As long as I make self-care a priority while I continue to heal, and let fate do its thing without any extraneous intervention on my part, I will emerge on the other side of this set. So that’s something to look forward to.
That said, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the disclaimer at the start of the guide:
This book contains advice and information regarding the body, mind, and spirit, and is not intended to be used to diagnose, treat, or prescribe any medical conditions or other health problems. It is not intended to replace the advice of your doctor or other licensed healthcare professionals. …Be aware of any medical conditions you may have and listen to your body.
If you suffer from depression, anxiety, addictions, etc., there are great resources that can help – an oracle game is no substitute for therapy. However, if you are actively doing all the things you need to do to take care of yourself and sometimes need a second look at things, the Anatomy of a Witch Oracle will definitely be an asset.
And if you happen to have a crush on me, give me a solid and give it about three months before you talk about it, okay? Or at the very least wait until after my coronation.
Do you like what you read? You cannot buy me a coffee on this subject.
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